take the wooden nickels
If I put “Personal Shopper” on my resumé do you think they’d know I was talking about Photoshop?
(via prettyproblematic)
Maybe if you beveled and embossed it.
4 notes (via drewlawton-deactivated20120521)
dual citizenship
I would definitely apply for dual citizenship to Daventry. Wish I was Rosella.
2 notes
drinkyourjuice: dude, you need to try it. I did it. It was like a million tiny angels who wanted my feet to be beautiful and soft. A million tiny, hungry angels.
I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you over how violently I’m vomiting.
20 notes (via christinefriar)
drinking alone
I’m drinking beer alone in my bed.
My bottle cap has a message on it.
That message is “DON’T BE AN IMPOSTOR…ON HUMANITY’S ROSTER.”
way to make me feel awesome, cap.
youmightfindyourself: this is seriously all I’ve ever wanted in life.
nickelcobalt: fr33cat: (via firstboner)
35 notes (via youmightfindyourself & firstboner)
one time
One time I dyed my hair red to look like Angela Chase. Contrary to my expectations, it didn’t make my life painfully beautiful and well-spoken. It just made people say “THAT EIGHTH-GRADE BITCH DONE DYED HER HAIR RED.”
True story: when I was in kindergarten, I heard this song for the first time and it shattered my heart. I imagined the homeless lady as very attractive, thin, and blonde, because I was not particularly “tuned in” to the state of race relations in America.
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